Riding and Revelations

My mom and I have been having long involved discussions about any problems encountered while riding being the riders fault. I sent her a great article about how you are riding the horse you created not the one you bought or had trained, she said some people wouldn’t recognize themselves in it. Then she started to worry that maybe she should be recognizing herself. She and Smoke were having some problems at the moment, but surely they weren’t her fault.

I know that Coyote is perfect in every way, so of course I am riding the horse I made. Except for the times he looses his mind, like when that cow tried to eat him but that wasn’t my fault!

But if we were going to stand by our firm beliefs we had to think about this a little deeper, look for causes, even if we didn’t like them. So how was I causing Coyotes wild mood swings? I wasn’t communicating fear to him, I hadn’t been scared of the bony old cow that he made mad in the first place by biting on the butt. But, I do know of his fears and quirks. I fully believe that his double swirls signify a double personality, calm and completely trust worthy and crazed insane pony all mixed into the same pony all at the same time.

So while I decline to accept responsibility for him being insane we decided that I must take responsibility for putting a horse I know to be crazed in a position that exacerbates his insanity. Perfect, that puzzle solved.

Then I got an email from my mom last night it was the best one ever! She had, well a lot of stuff, I’ll let her tell you….

 

well, today I decided to own my belief that ‘its always the riders fault’. I thought harder about it and remembered that

for a year or more I have been blaming bad behavior on maybe-lame. Letting my horse get away with a little bit more

and a little bit more. So, no, my horse did not suddenly out of no where misbehave. Even if he had off a whole winter,
and could possibly be given a little slack for that, the fact that I have given him the idea he may be able to do as he pleases
was already established. Someone told me last year that if I wanted to believe it was all my fault and none of the horses 
I could go ahead and feel sorry for myself. Actually it worked the other way, at least this time. I felt pretty confident.
Now maybe it had nothing to do with my newly re-found alpha attitude- even though still a little fearful- we had a great
ride. Up on the bit and forward, but not out of control, no hint of a trot, hooray, we made it around the hay field!!!
I loved it! And the idea that it would in some way be a bad thing that it is always the riders fault is shocking to me. Instead I find it empowering. WE have the ability to fix the problems that WE cause. We aren’t sitting helplessly on a giant animal that can do as it pleases with us. We are mounted upon a sensitive powerful beast that is willing and happy to take the slightest of cues from us so we can work together. How awesome is that! If we are telling them things that aren’t what we mean to WE  can change that as long as we are willing to step up and take responsibility. Willing to take a sometimes painful and honest look at ourselves and see what WE are doing wrong.
Now I need to figure out what I’m doing to mess up the other horses. Oh dear.

 

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