I nearly killed my father-in-law today. I really didn’t mean to, I like the guy. It was an accident.

After feeding cows this morning he graciously waited while I got my horse and we ran the cows in to sort off some late calves. Coyote plodded slowly towards the corn field wanting desperately to return to his herd, until he saw the four wheeler. He was so thrilled. He wasn’t going to be alone after all. He is pretty sure that he is a four wheeler. Together with his buddy we gathered the cows in from the corn field. It was going so well. We got them in to the first pen with no problems. I was thrilled to be riding. Coyote was trying to run away with me.  Life was good. The unwanted cows happily trailed back out the gate. No trouble no fuss. Down to the calves and a couple remaining cows we took them up to the barn and a smaller pen to finish sorting.

Once again no problems, easy cheesy, slick as silk, piece of cake. The cows ran right out the gate. The calves stayed in as was the goal. But….

There was one calf. A little runt of a calf with a red tinge to his hide. He, it was decided, needed to go back out with the cows. I don’t know why, it is not for me to ask these things. I am simply sitting on my horse doing as I am told, happy to be out and about.

That scrawny little runt of a calf refused to go out the gate. He would get right to it and dodge back past us to the other calves. I think they were egging him on.  A couple of times though he would stop and just stand, there under Coyotes nose. My father-in-law thought out loud about different pens we could move them to and schemes that might separate them. I really don’t know what all he might have said. I wasn’t listening. I had a horse, I had a rope, I could do this I thought. So as he droned on I dropped a loop around the calf’s neck.

It took me a moment to get over the shock of catching something. I am not a roper. I briefly thought that I should have worn gloves. Then I got my dally, Coyote turned like a pro and we drug the calf out the gate. I had time to be proud of my self. We had done it. Job completed.

Then the calf leaped sideways and banged into father-in-law and gate. Oops, but not to bad. He then came over to get the rope off. Now we had a problem. The scrawny runt of a calf grew to gigantic proportions. He bellowed and kicked and ran in circles. I have to remind myself that my father-in-law is seventy-ish, he is not at all feeble. But still he is in his seventies, he shouldn’t be fighting with a calf on the end of a rope.

He was flung about, stepped on, whipped around and generally beat up.

In the end the rope was retrieved. The father-in-law survived and I vow never to do it again. I will never ever head a calf again, trying to be helpful. Next time we will do something less drastic. Next time, next time I’ll heel it.

These guys are a new favorite. Their videos are awesome.

I will take any excuse I can come up with to get on a horse. So when My father-in-law asked if I would take the other four wheeler and help move cows I said no.

I would come help move cows if he would give me time to grab a horse though. He had some other things to do so it wasn’t a problem. I grabbed my bridle and some cookies, horse cookies that is, caught Coyote and we were ready to go. I didn’t brush him or anything just hopped on bare back. We were ready in record time.

It’s funny how after so long of little to no riding I feel like my seat is better than it was back when I rode all the time. We galloped bare back through the corn field after those cows and I wasn’t afraid. I had no trouble letting go of his mane to grab the reins two handed and insist that we really did have to stop. I even fell of off the old boy last time I rode. One of those slow motion kind of things. I think he was standing still as I slid to the ground, but it didn’t bother me any like it usually would. Maybe because my falling offs are usually much more dramatic and painful.

It was kind of embarrassing, why does that sort of thing have to happen in front of an audience? An audience of four wheeler guys is worst of all. But I digress, we had a beautiful ride. I am getting pretty good at posting bare back. Those dang four wheelers go so fast I feel like I am holding them up all the time if we walk leisurely along. It doesn’t help that Coyote thinks he is a four wheeler and wants to keep up with his heard. I had to insist that we walk though when I started getting a charley horse in my thigh.

All this cow moving was due to an idea for which my father-in-law is becoming locally famous. He has made two news papers and come Febuary The Farm Journal. Wow.

During a corn harvest already made poor by drought, the wind blew for a couple of days around sixty miles an hour. It blew semies over and caused blinding dust storms that closed interstate 8o. It also blew the ears of corn off the stalks. Dropped the number of bushels harvested by half in many fields. All that corn laying there was too much to let go to waste, but was also to much to turn the cows onto. I had not known that cows could founded just like horses do. Well not just like, cows are ok afterwards they grow long toes and don’t walk very well.

With the sky high hay prices there had to be a way to make use of the corn fields. So husband and father-in-law spent a weekend welding braces to hold electric fence insulators and attache an electric fence to the pivot. The ultumet in rotational grazing. Get it rotational, cause the pivot rotates?

Oh never mind.

Any way.  The whole thing is surrounded by electric fence. Since the field is  round, the perimeter fence is always the same distance from the pivot and a simple gate latch finishes the circuit. The cows are allowed a small sliver of corn laden field. With the whole herd on it there isn’t enough corn for any one cow to get too much. They graze for a couple of days then the pivot gets moved and they have fresh corn stalks.

Brilliant.

We went Christmas tree hunting last weekend. The weather was warm but windy. The trees and hills blocked most of the wind though and it was beautiful. We went to a neighbors pasture and hiked through the draws looking for just the right one. We found some that were to big. Many that were to small. Big beautiful thick ones, with at least two trunks. Tall thin ones with lots of “character”, to so much for some of us. Finally as we neared the pick up exhausted from our climbing we found IT. The One.

Finally! I have such a hard time waiting for November, much less until after Thanksgiving, to start playing my favorites. As soon as Halloween is over I want my music. Now that Decimber is here I can fully indulge my self. I love Trans-Siberian Railroad.

And of course

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

He was a stinky dog, a smelly dog, an overly friendly dog. He was a happy dog, a barking dog who never saw reason to listen.

The poor old boy came to an end this morning, helping feed like he usually does. He had been growing deaf in the last year and I think that was the problem. As he writhed on the ground joyously rolling in something smelly he failed to hear the payloader backing towards him. That was it quick and painless, his last thoughts happy ones.

Daisy will miss him the most I think, although I am surprised at how sad I feel at his passing. He was a vile and disgusting dog who swam in the sewer and rolled in any thing dead. He was fully intact and liked to back up at you huge pink parts swinging.

He was patient and kind. Tolerant of small children’s poking and pulling. He loved it really often knocking them down in his enthusiasm. Not a mean bone in his body, he would never have dreamed of biting. He put up with Daisy and her endless energy. She loved to bounce around him snarling and biting. He was her best friend and companion. He loved to run circles around the four wheeler barking like an idiot. Faithful and loyal he slept on his masters doorstep scorning his roomy dog house. Always present never helpful. We will miss you Zip, much to our surprise.

It happened one night as we sat enjoying a quiet family meal. The sweet young child lay upon her daddies shoulder as we finished eating.  Cuteness was simply oozing from her. Then into the silence erupted a racket.  A gurgling, squirting sort of racket. Now we are quite proud of her many crude noise making talents but this was above and beyond. Soon the stench reached our noses and not long after a damp brown spot appeared on the back that had previously been so lovingly stroked.

Leaping into action her father, holding her in extended arms made a mad dash for the bath room. As I followed behind in a much more leisurely manner I heard exclamations and curses echoing down the stairs. I don’t believe I quite caught every thing but it seemed to be some thing along the line of “How can such a small child create such a large amount of…. mess?”

And so she received an impromptu bath. The first one for her poor father and under such trying circumstances.

It’s been a long time since I posted anything, at least partially because we have been working feverishly on the nursery. And now it’s almost done! This is so exciting. Especially for those of us trying to live, with a baby, in a construction zone. We have baby stuff, tools and dust spread through out the house. It will be nice to be able to clean, dust and baby stuff up from around the house and be done with it. Every nook and cranny is filled with things waiting to go into the nursery we can’t even get into our beloved library. Some times I wonder how it’s all going to fit.

My parents came clear out here for a weekend and fixed the ceiling. Dad fixed the ceiling, mom babysat. He tore down all the old plaster and put up dry wall. He taped and sanded and even got it painted before they had to leave. We couldn’t have done it with out them and it’s so nice to have that done but it would also have been nice to gotten to visit and maybe go ridding with mom. I’m not complaining though because it’s almost done!

The walls are patched and painted, the beautiful wood floors are varnished, all we have left to do is paint and install the quarter round on the base board and the same with the crown molding. We have all ready dug the crib out of it’s box. Not so much putting it together yet, but ready to.

I just can’t wait to start decorating.

To be continued……..

Jesus came to the baby while she was still in her Momma’s belly

He tells her, “I will always take care of you and love you little Elly”

I promise never to leave you alone

Not ever, not now, not after you are born

Her parents watch their child as she is sleeping

They wonder what can a baby be dreaming

They don’t know that Jesus is talking to her still

She smiles and nods and listens to his will

He let her meet her guardian angel

Who was clothed in gowns of purple

He tells her of calves, ponies and sheep

She listens to it all while she’s asleep

She gives a tug on an angel’s wing

And pulls a cloud, like a balloon, on a string

Jesus waves good-bye at heavens gate

Tells her she must go now she can’t be late

He tells her He loves her

And promises to keep her

Safe and sound

In her Fathers arms she is bound

A baby’s dreams

Are beautiful things

Once upon a time far far away in a land not so very different from our own a girl child was born to a sweet and gentle couple. They welcomed her with love and good will. She was a beautiful and docile child with a full head of hair and good temper. Unfortunately she had to stay at the hospital for a period and her parents were forced to be away from her. This was a time of great suffering through out the land.

During this separation she came to be noticed by the goblin king. His wife had recently hatched a girl goblin child. Everybody knows goblin children are hatched from pumpkins. He was growing tired from being up all night, growing mold from the constant damp of being spat up on and quite deaf from her ear splitting howls. He gazed covetously upon this angelic human child. Until finally he could stand it no more. His minions were sent creeping and crawling one dark night to switch the babies. The goblin child was barely able to be kept quiet long enough for the  midnight exchange, as soon as they set her down almost before they escaped out the window bearing their little sweet heart, she let out a wail.

The nurses came running in a panic so unused were they to any trouble with this particular child. Now the goblin king had cast a glamor over his little hellion so she could pass as human, the nurses were unable to tell any difference. They worried and fretted over how to explain the sudden change to the unsuspecting parents.

“Surely she will have stopped crying by the time they arrive” the nurses all agreed. For that day was the day her parents were coming to take her home.

Shrieks echoed through out the halls as the parents arrived to bring the little darling home.

“Oh I do pity the parents of that baby” they said nodding wisely at each other. They had become a little smug.

Late that night with their ears aching and a touch of mildew beginning in their creases they attempted to prepare for bed. The darling infant would drift off to sleep in their loving arms only to jerk awake screaming. They oohed and awed over the little pumpkin. “She just needs time to

adjust to her new home,” one crooned. “She’s darling even when she cries” cooed the other.

A week later and still awake, with the mildew blossoming into a lush carpet of green, they found themselves discovering new tricks their little darling had in store. Huddling under the blankets they hid in bed arguing over who would be the next to brave the child.

” I went last and she nearly gummed my fingers off.” the formerly lovely wife declared. “It’s your turn to feed her.”

“No no dear” the husband managed with some aplomb “I do believe that you drifted off to sleep momentarily whence I took it upon my self to venture forth and feed the,” here he paused searching for the proper description, “sweet

infant.” He coughed nearly choking on the words and wondering quietly to where one could return babies.

It was a weak argument as they both knew that sleep was not to be had. The formerly gallant husband returned dripping and quite haggard. Having grown tired of watering her mold gardens she had decided to wet down the rest of the house as well as her father and thus introduced projectile vomit.  This was much more efficient allowing her to cover many things at once with her fragrant spray.

“But she smiled at me so sweetly when she had finished.” He added to the telling of his story with bemused wonder.

As she grew she developed skills that should have marked her as a goblin child if her disguise had not concealed so well, and lack of sleep not

blinded her parents eyes. She liked to eat the most inappropriate things and her strength

and intelligence far out distanced normal children of the human verity. She began crawling almost immediately. Her version of crawling at least. She could skid across a room on her face pushing with her hind feet. Of course had she been human they would have simply been legs.

They grew proud of this little changeling. Exclaiming in joy as she growled and snorted before honing in on an object to clamp down on it with gums of steal. Prideful of the way she scaled them as though they were mountains gnawing any flesh she could reach on the way. They learned to burp her at arms length preferably over the bath tub and appreciate a little mold. Sleep returned with judicious use of ear plugs. She wore her stuffed animals thread bare with her chewing and her parents took joy in her enthusiasm.

“Oh look at the little sweetling, she has such spirit!” The proud mother would cry.

“Yes, and such good aim.” The gloating father would respond gripping his throbbing nose. And so she growled and clawed her way into their harts. They pitied all those poor parents with sweet well behaved babies.

                 HAPPY HALLOWEEN